Music figures prominently into both
of my humorous suspense novels—in Ring of Fire, one of my main
characters is a college student whose iPod is improbably crammed with
selections from the Great American Songbook. In Battle Axe, the
protagonist leads a weekend swing band. If I had any musical aptitude, I’m sure
I would have tried to start my own band at some point in my life. As things
went, I’ve had to settle for lyric writing for my best friend (who IS a
world-class musician, songwriter, and now ebook cover designer) and simply
surrounding myself with good music whenever and wherever possible. In fact,
whenever I’ve changed addresses, the stereo is always the last thing packed and
the first thing unpacked.
You hear people say “oh, I like all
kinds of music,” but they don’t really mean it. I really mean it. Among the 30,000 songs on my iPod, you’ll find
everything from Benny Goodman to Bob Marley, from Flight of the Conchords to
Frank Sinatra. Classical, country, Latin and jazz, too. Basically, if it’s got
a melody, it’s fair game.
Lyrics are another matter. I can
suffer through lame lyrics if the melody’s catchy enough, but not the other way
around. To me, great lyrics set to bad music is simply poetry. Great lyrics set
to great music, however, is timeless. Sorry Bob Dylan—I can’t hum words.
Here are my Top 10 Musical Novelists.
Criteria? The ability to consistently create compelling, memorable characters,
conjure up moods or atmospheres or flat-out tell a story. All in the context of
an unforgettable tune.
Billy Joel
Haven’t we all known a Brenda and Eddie? Or had a Leyna we were fruitlessly obsessed with? I was born well after
the early days of rock and roll, but An
Innocent Man takes me back, every time. And when 2017 rolls around, I will
be nowhere near Miami.
Ben Folds
Thanks to Ben, I know how it feels to
take your girlfriend for an abortion. I know how it feels to get fired after
working for a newspaper for 30 years. He cheated recently, because he did an
album with a novelist. But for my
money, Ben’s lyrics are as good if not better than Nick Hornby’s.
Fountains of Wayne
An easy pick—their titles are characters: Michael and Heather,
Denise, Yolanda Hayes, Richie and Ruben, even Stacy’s Mom. Their eye for
detail—no, rhyming detail—is amazing,
and no action is too mundane to be immortalized. Oddly enough, it all rings
true. “Checking out the women on Spanish television?” Come on, we’ve all done
it.
Paul Simon
Paul is a thinking man’s lyricist,
but he knows it. He gave Billy Joel the complete Oxford English Dictionary as a
wedding present. Sure he’s oblique, but he puts you in places you’ve never been
before. When I was in Brussels recently at the Magritte museum, I had trouble
focusing on the artwork because I couldn’t get “Rene and Georgette Magritte with Their Dog After the War” out of my head.
Aimee Mann
Texturally, Aimee can get a little
redundant, and her voice has its limits, but when it’s singing plaintively to
Mr. Harris, it’s right on the mark. In her hands, the 30-ish woman pining for
her 60-ish neighbor isn’t creepy, but naively sweet.
XTC
Weird yet accessible. I’ve never sat
on a picnic blanket by a babbling brook in the English countryside in the dead
of summer, but I have listened to “Summer’s Cauldron/Grass,” and that’s pretty
much the same thing. “Then She Appeared” is either about Botticellis’s Birth of
Venus or the church doors parting, revealing my soon-to-be-wife walking down
the aisle.
Bruce Springsteen
I admit I’ve never been a huge
"Boss" fan (mainly because of that ragged voice), but for working class characters
with oversized—or shattered--dreams, no one can touch him. Rosalita, Sandy, all the tortured souls on The Rising. If you aren’t these people,
then you know these people.
Donald Fagan
If Springsteen creates characters you
can relate to, then Donald Fagan creates characters who send you scrambling for
the Purell. Cousin Dupree is the guy who gets a little older, gets a little
money and “befriends” Janie Runaway. There are no morals here, only
self-interest. Come to think of it, I guess I can relate to that.
Leiber & Stoller
In 2 ½ minutes, tell me a story about
a sideshow belly dancer, describe her gyrations, her tattoos and her jewelry,
and do it from the POV of a fan who stumbled upon her act, fell in love and
started a family with her. Never mind, it’s been done: “Little Egypt.”
Stephen Sondheim
Before he was “allowed” to write
music, he was tossing off classic lyrics for West Side Story and Gypsy.
When he finally had control over the entire songs, he created one of the latter
day classics, A Funny Thing Happened on
the Way to the Forum, which perfectly complemented the slapstick script.
Yet when the story called for murder, blood and cannibalism, he was right there
with the uncomfortably hilarious “A Little Priest.”
All over the map, right? I warned
you. As long as we have music, we have the means to put ourselves into whatever
kind of mood we wish. Hope you enjoy Battle Axe on Wattpad and give Ring of Fire a chance, too.
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