I've (almost) reached the halfway mark!

Now of course, this refers to a first draft, and we're talking ten chapters of a first draft that may ultimately have more than 20 chapters, but that's all I've outlined so far. So this is a very qualified celebration. But it feels like progress nonetheless. As avid readers of this blog know (Lock him up! He's referring to imaginary people!), I was well into (probably halfway, ironically) a middle-grade adventure novel (working title: Opposite Day) when I decided to shelve the whole thing. One day, I might pull it back out, and one day it might actually be shelved in a physical library, but I just wasn't feeling it. I'm not sure if it was the voice, the "reining in" of my normal adult-speak (vocabulary/idioms/cultural references) or the crazy-elaborate dual world I had built that spun out of my control, but I no longer looked forward to opening that file anymore.

Now I'm onto another "humorous suspense," much like my first two novels. Also, like my other two novels, this one takes place partly in Europe–in this case, Ireland. I like to escape when I read, and when I write, and since I don't write sci-fi or fantasy, which necessitate travel into other times or even universes, I satisfy this urge with vicarious tourism. In my plots, the characters always travel for a legitimate reason that's integral to the action–not like in my old ad agency, when we'd try to sell a commercial that took place in an exotic location (think Rice Krispies in Belize) purely to shoot in an exotic location. Without the trip to Greece, Ring of Fire would have made no sense. Without the detour to Germany, Battle Axe would have fallen apart. And now, with [working title here], my main character is compelled to hit the Emerald Isle for reasons critical to his health and his marriage.

I hope to begin posting regularly again soon, and it won't always be about the status of the WIP (work in progress), but I have given myself a loose-but-looming deadline, so one way or another, I'll be writing.

Pinterest: I'm doing it, even if I don't get it.

Okay, that's not entirely true. I get it, but I have to admit it's not my thing. Which is fine--there are plenty of things that aren't my thing. In fact, there are probably way more things that aren't my thing than things that are my thing. I'm a man of particular interests. And you can find a selection of them here. A note: most of them relate to my novels, because I have to weave my interests into my novels, so I can experience them more often.

Top Ten Musical "Novelists"

Music figures prominently into both of my humorous suspense novels—in Ring of Fire, one of my main characters is a college student whose iPod is improbably crammed with selections from the Great American Songbook. In Battle Axe, the protagonist leads a weekend swing band. If I had any musical aptitude, I’m sure I would have tried to start my own band at some point in my life. As things went, I’ve had to settle for lyric writing for my best friend (who IS a world-class musician, songwriter, and now ebook cover designer) and simply surrounding myself with good music whenever and wherever possible. In fact, whenever I’ve changed addresses, the stereo is always the last thing packed and the first thing unpacked.

You hear people say “oh, I like all kinds of music,” but they don’t really mean it. I really mean it. Among the 30,000 songs on my iPod, you’ll find everything from Benny Goodman to Bob Marley, from Flight of the Conchords to Frank Sinatra. Classical, country, Latin and jazz, too. Basically, if it’s got a melody, it’s fair game.

Lyrics are another matter. I can suffer through lame lyrics if the melody’s catchy enough, but not the other way around. To me, great lyrics set to bad music is simply poetry. Great lyrics set to great music, however, is timeless. Sorry Bob Dylan—I can’t hum words.

Here are my Top 10 Musical Novelists. Criteria? The ability to consistently create compelling, memorable characters, conjure up moods or atmospheres or flat-out tell a story. All in the context of an unforgettable tune.

Billy Joel

Haven’t we all known a Brenda and Eddie? Or had a Leyna we were fruitlessly obsessed with? I was born well after the early days of rock and roll, but An Innocent Man takes me back, every time. And when 2017 rolls around, I will be nowhere near Miami.

Ben Folds

Thanks to Ben, I know how it feels to take your girlfriend for an abortion. I know how it feels to get fired after working for a newspaper for 30 years. He cheated recently, because he did an album with a novelist. But for my money, Ben’s lyrics are as good if not better than Nick Hornby’s.

Fountains of Wayne

An easy pick—their titles are characters: Michael and Heather, Denise, Yolanda Hayes, Richie and Ruben, even Stacy’s Mom. Their eye for detail—no, rhyming detail—is amazing, and no action is too mundane to be immortalized. Oddly enough, it all rings true. “Checking out the women on Spanish television?” Come on, we’ve all done it.

Paul Simon

Paul is a thinking man’s lyricist, but he knows it. He gave Billy Joel the complete Oxford English Dictionary as a wedding present. Sure he’s oblique, but he puts you in places you’ve never been before. When I was in Brussels recently at the Magritte museum, I had trouble focusing on the artwork because I couldn’t get “Rene and Georgette Magritte with Their Dog After the War” out of my head.

Aimee Mann

Texturally, Aimee can get a little redundant, and her voice has its limits, but when it’s singing plaintively to Mr. Harris, it’s right on the mark. In her hands, the 30-ish woman pining for her 60-ish neighbor isn’t creepy, but naively sweet.

XTC

Weird yet accessible. I’ve never sat on a picnic blanket by a babbling brook in the English countryside in the dead of summer, but I have listened to “Summer’s Cauldron/Grass,” and that’s pretty much the same thing. “Then She Appeared” is either about Botticellis’s Birth of Venus or the church doors parting, revealing my soon-to-be-wife walking down the aisle.

Bruce Springsteen

I admit I’ve never been a huge "Boss" fan (mainly because of that ragged voice), but for working class characters with oversized—or shattered--dreams, no one can touch him.  Rosalita, Sandy, all the tortured souls on The Rising. If you aren’t these people, then you know these people.

Donald Fagan

If Springsteen creates characters you can relate to, then Donald Fagan creates characters who send you scrambling for the Purell. Cousin Dupree is the guy who gets a little older, gets a little money and “befriends” Janie Runaway. There are no morals here, only self-interest. Come to think of it, I guess I can relate to that.

Leiber & Stoller

In 2 ½ minutes, tell me a story about a sideshow belly dancer, describe her gyrations, her tattoos and her jewelry, and do it from the POV of a fan who stumbled upon her act, fell in love and started a family with her. Never mind, it’s been done: “Little Egypt.”

Stephen Sondheim

Before he was “allowed” to write music, he was tossing off classic lyrics for West Side Story and Gypsy. When he finally had control over the entire songs, he created one of the latter day classics, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, which perfectly complemented the slapstick script. Yet when the story called for murder, blood and cannibalism, he was right there with the uncomfortably hilarious “A Little Priest.”

All over the map, right? I warned you. As long as we have music, we have the means to put ourselves into whatever kind of mood we wish. Hope you enjoy Battle Axe on Wattpad and give Ring of Fire a chance, too. 

Podcast with Wattpad!

I've done announcer-type work and voiceovers for years as kind of a side job, but I still don't love listening to myself. You, however, are welcome to. This is an interview I did last week with the exceedingly nice Pam from Wattpad, a very popular site for writers to post their work and gain free exposure. I'm bound to Amazon to keep "Ring of Fire" there exclusively for another few weeks, but I posted "Battle Axe" on Wattpad back in March and it's already received over 100,000 "reads." Pam asks me about my background in fiction, cartooning, advertising and whatever else we can think of.

Listen to it here.